Towering Pines Blog

Clown Contest TP Style: Muttonchops, Zen Cowboys, and Clown throw-downs

Posted by on July 24, 2013


French Revolutionary Clowns: very cutting edge stuff in the clown world!

French Revolutionary Clowns

The TP Fair held last Sunday was a bit hit and included lovely weather, fun booths, and great company, i.e., the Ladies of Camp Woodland.

The Kick-Off event of the day was the popular – and hotly contested – Towering Pines Clown Contest.  The rules of the competition are simple: each cabin sends one camper to represent them in the contest. Contestants may wear costumes and/or put on some kind of performance to woo the favor of the judges.  The Clown Champion shall be decided by the applause of our impartial Woodland guests.

Zen Cowboy Clown

Zen Cowboy Clown


With such simple rules, what could possibly go amiss?  Expectedly, as per TP clown tradition, the cheating and other nefarious acts of dubious legitimacy began almost immediately, including such infractions as:

  • Bribery: “I Love Woodland” brazenly written on the chest of the very first clown!
  • Staff mimicry of Nick S, for some reason in Confederate Soldier garb.
  • The vague “One Clown per Cabin” apparently translates to “as many clowns as we feel like putting in.”
  • Questionable employment of a Great Ape
  • French Revolution Flash Mobbery.  High tech performance juxtapositioned into a historical context  Very cutting edge stuff here folks.

This was indeed hard-core clowning at its best. And, in the great TP spirit of the event, breaches of proper clown etiquette were ignored to the degree that they were also entertaining.  “Funny trumps integrity” is unlikely to show up on a tee-shirt, but it’s all part of the TP Clown Code.  The 2013 list of TP Clown contestants included:

  • A Zen Cowboy & his meditation students, including a Gorilla
  • French Revolutionary CITs, complete with muttonchops
    My, what an adorable clown...

    My, what an adorable clown…

  • A Sugar-Fueled HyperClown.
  • A Disco-Dancing Banana & his Blue-Faced Minions
  • A cute, albeit unrepentantly humorless clown

After each of the clowns delivered their performance, our Woodland sisters narrowed down the field to two remaining entrants:  the CITs with their Les Miserables rendition of “One Day More,” versus Mateo T, a.k.a., the Unfunny Clown.

That’s when – and it pains me to report this – things got ugly. Uglier.  Cabin 45 Clown Mateo scandalously threw down on the Woodland judges, announcing, “I have many funny jokes, but I will not tell them to you!”  Although no punches – or pies – were thrown, Mateo’s words charged up the crowd and things grew even more heated.


Dancing Banana & Blue Faced Minions

Dancing Banana & Blue Faced Minions

In the end however, only one cabin could claim 2013 bragging rights, so the vote was again put to the trustworthy Woodland judges.  The stoic ladies, apparently unperturbed by Mateo’s refusal to share his witticisms, voted again and the verdict was clear: the combined might of the mustachioed CITs were unable to match the sheer entertainment value of a challenge-issuing, broken-English- speaking, jokeless clown. 

Mateo, you are the man! The man AND the Clown!!”

Congratulations Mateo, 2013 TP Clown Contest Champion.



The Woodland Judges delivering their verdict via applause.

The Woodland Judges evaluating the clowns.